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Star lines spiralled in the cockpit windscreen, bringing a hypnotic sort of peace. Two days of chaffing under the camo-net, knowing they couldn't sense her, hoping they didn't do a hard target ground search, had exhausted Alee. The screamers - no - the TIE fighters had crisscrossed the hills endlessly.
The Empire spared no expense in hunting down suspected rebels. Alee shivered. Or was all that effort for a possible Jedi? If so, they were wasting their time.
Bitterness welled up, as that moment in the library taunted her. The Force had been in her grasp, then simply sashayed away. Leading her here.
Her insides revolted as she reverted to realspace. Dagobah hung, a light grey ball in the darkness. With all that cloud cover, where would she know to land?
"Trust my instincts," whispered Alee.
As the ship entered the atmosphere and neared the surface, winds buffeted it. Alee clung to the controls, grimly determined to hold the course she'd chosen. Dropping below the clouds, she found herself flying through a canopy of enormous trees. She dodged thick branches and trunks. Leaves slapped the cockpit window. Then she was through.
The ship glided, just above stall speed, as Alee searched for a landing spot on the boggy terrain. She used the repulsor lifts to settle on a fairly dry-looking piece of ground. The ship sank into the muck. Not too far, she hoped.
She studied the scene before her and whistled. Clouds above. Swirling mists and patches of water below. The space between was punctuated by dark trees and tangled vines. A winged creature, like a giant mynock, glided past.
"What hope is there of finding anyone in this place? Unless they want to be found."
Her first foray into the swamp turned up nothing. It was dark when Alee returned to the ship, soaking from the waist down, mud stained and dishevelled. She dumped the water from her boots and collapsed on the pull-down bed, her cloak a pillow.
Qui-Gon stood on the far side of the abyss, the black vortex swirled up its sides, reaching toward him. Alee ran and jumped, knowing the Force would carry her to his side. Then she was falling. He spun away.
Alee woke. Sweat trickled through her hair, soaking her tunic. She curled up and stared at the bulkhead. Dim light filled the cabin. She felt like she hadn't slept.
A freeze-dried breakfast did nothing to lift her spirits. She sighed. There was nothing to do but continue the search.
The landing ramp partially covered some faint tracks. Alee crouched and tapped her teeth. Small. Bi-pedal. She puzzled over little round markings. A stick? Cane? Someone wasn't afraid to let her know of his presence. She stood, energized.
Tracking was tedious until she got her bearings. After that, her pace ate up the ground. She hardly faltered when the trail faded; only had to backtrack once when the heading altered slightly.
A scant hour had passed when she spotted a curl of smoke, too regular to be part of the mist. Alee hesitated. What, or who awaited? Fear crowded her thoughts. She called Qui-Gon's visage to mind and felt calm return. She moved forward warily.
Three meters from a small domed hut she called out, "Hello inside! Hello?"
As she drew closer, she heard shuffling, a throat clearing.
"Coming. Coming. Wake me, you did," a nasal, slightly familiar voice responded.
A small robed figure appeared. Alee gasped and dropped to her knees in the mud.
"Yoda. Master Yoda?" she cried, as tears streamed down her cheeks. "Is it you? Is it really you."
The gnarled, pale green being stretched to his full one meter height. His wing-like ears levelled, his eyes narrowed.
"Know my name, you do," he said, "but who are you? Hmm?"
He leaned on his cane as he approached her. He had aged so much.
"You really don't know me, Master?" sadness tinged her voice.
Yoda stopped and scrutinized Alee. His eyes grew wide.
"Unexpected this is;" He paused, "destroyed you were. How come you to be here, Alee-Nedra cy Nerac?"
She sighed in relief. She'd given up hoping she'd ever hear her name spoken by someone from her past. Someone not in her dreams.
"Pale you look," said Yoda. "Yarum tea will help. Come in. Tell your tale inside, where it is dry. Hmm?"
Alee stooped to follow him through the door. He motioned to the small fire and she made herself comfortable by the hearth. While he busied himself, Alee gathered her thoughts. He handed her a cup. She took a sip and winced. Bitter.
"The phenomenon I was sent to investigate, it was this ... incredible convergence of raw power and anti-matter. But more than that," she searched for the right word, "it was a nexus. I was ambushed. I fell into it. Somehow, it bridged time and I ended up here. Well, on Bainot. But now. Thirty-some years in the future."
Yoda nodded, "That explains why aged you have not."
She leaned forward. "Master, have you ever heard of this happening?"
Yoda shook his head.
"It not possible!" she cried, panic rising.
"Yet here you are."
His matter of fact tone calmed Alee.
"There's more," she whispered.
"Yes."
"When I was falling. A Force explosion," her voice was raw. She stared at him with pain-filled eyes. "It's blocked. I can't touch it. It hovers outside my reach..."
"Yes. Sense you I could not," Yoda mused, "not as one trained in the ways of the Force."
Alee grasped his hand as it rested on his gimer stick. "I have to get back. Please help me, Master. I don't belong here. I belong then. With Qui-Gon. With the Jedi." Her eyes darted about sightlessly. "We have to stop this darkness. This Empire. We have to prevent this awful future I've fallen into."
"No."
Alee blinked and refocused on Yoda, "But we must."
"This we cannot do. Forward only flows the Force," he declared. "Disturb the past we cannot. Only learn from it we can."
Dread infused her breathing. "But I have to find Qui-Gon. I can't ... go on without him. Where is he hiding? Please tell me, Master."
Yoda hesitated. "Dead is Qui-Gon Jinn."
Alee stared at him in shock. "No. I would have sensed it. You lie."
Severity shadowed his features. He placed both hands on the gimer stick and declared, "Never do I lie."
She was shaking her head, murmuring "no" over and over. She backed away, eyes glazed, breath coming in gasps. Alee spun and scrambled on all fours through the door.
She ran -- crashing through the swamp, swinging wildly at hanging vines. She fell in a shallow pool, sloshed to her feet and kept running. Over logs. Under branches. Exhaustion overtook her and she came to a standstill.
Tears and sweat and rain blurred her vision. Alee moaned as the truth wrenched her apart. She clenched and unclenched her fists, raising them to the sky.
"No. No! NO!" Alee's wails became a scream, "Qui-Gon!"
Her world exploded.
Qui-Gon placed his hands on her shoulders.
"If you feel this apprehensive about the mission, don't go. Trust your instincts, Alee." He paused, "Don't shake your head at me. This future you see has blocked your ability to concentrate on the moment. Be mindful of the living Force."
She brushed a wayward hair behind his ear. "Then come with me. We'll face this thing together. You. Me." She rolled her eyes playfully, "Your Padawan."
"I cannot. These trade negotiations may turn delicate..."
"And the council," she interrupted, "trusts no one but you."
He shrugged. "Many are capable."
"But no one else is you." She leaned against his chest. "What would I do without you."
"Meet someone closer your age. Fall in love."
"I am in love."
His lips brushed the top of her head. "As am I. When this mission is over and Obi-Wan becomes Knight, I want to be united with you in the custom of my people."
She leaned back and wrapped her arms around his neck. "I'm holding you to that, Master Qui-Gon Jinn."
He feigned shock. "You doubt me? A Jedi's promise cannot be broken."
Alee sighed as his lips pressed against hers.
A throat cleared.
"Master," said Obi-Wan, "the ship is ready to leave."
Alee stepped back and looked at the Padawan. "Take care of him for me, Obi-Wan."
He shot her a resentful glance. "Of course."
Qui-Gon took her hand and pressed the fingertips to his lips.
"May the Force be with you," she whispered.
"And with you, Alee," he replied. "Always."
Always. Always.
Alee opened her eyes and blinked. She was chilled from laying in a puddle. Daylight. Still? Or again?
She struggled to her feet and looked around. The clearing she stood in was completely clear of anything save mud. Small trees and rocks looked to have been tossed aside to make a perfect circle. Something skittered on the fringes of remembrance then was gone. A light drizzle began.
"I love you, Qui-Gon. I wish I'd listened to you. I would rather have stood by your side and died than experience this living death." Alee lifted her face to the rain. She could almost feel his finger brush a tear away. "Why you? Anyone but you."
It took a long time for the rain to wash away the mud and tears.
Yoda. She had so many questions to ask. An apology to make.
She headed back with a heavy step.
Yoda was waiting for her outside his hut. As Alee drew close he turned and went inside. She followed and sat cross-legged by the hearth. Yoda looked carved from stone. She cleared her throat.
"I'm sorry, Master," she began.
"Dangerous you are," he interrupted. "Control. You must use control."
"What do you mean? I was upset. I didn't..."
"You did." He poked her with his stick. "The tremor I felt. Waves of fear. Anger."
Alee's face went blank. Her mouth opened and shut. Yoda watched her.
"You remember not," he stated. She shook her head. "You are able still. You must regain control, or an agent of evil you will be."
The memory broke through. Her sadness and fear turning ... to power. Power that swept everything away. The circle.
"Master Yoda," Alee cried, "I'm so afraid."
He watched her expectantly. She met his look and turned away.
After a moment she spoke, "I know what you're thinking. Fear leads to anger. Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering," she paused. "I'm already there, Master."
"Not your suffering. The suffering of others. Innocents," asserted Yoda. "Jedi protect the innocent. Jedi serve justice, guard peace."
"I want to, Master Yoda. Being a Jedi is all I have left. But how, when I can't draw on the Force."
"You must relearn what you have learned."
"I have tried."
"There is no try. Do."
"I do." Alee hung her head. "I fail."
Yoda stamped his gimer stick. "Do again."
She looked up and nodded, her eyes bleak.
"What happened, Master?"
Yoda sketched the return of the Sith, the rise of the Empire, the destruction of the Jedi. Alee listened patiently.
When he fell quiet, she spoke, "Thank you, but I meant Qui-Gon. How did he die? He must have been struck down, but when?"
Yoda cleared his throat and looked away.
"Please tell me," she entreated.
"Struck down he was. The day you disappeared."
Alee's mind raced.
"I died with him," she breathed. Yoda looked at her in surprise. "Balnor said he never shot me. I thought I was shot."
She moved and knelt before him. "The blow that killed him. His midsection, right?"
Yoda nodded.
"I felt it. The pain threw me off balance, made me fall," she paused. "We were so close."
"Too close," declared Yoda. "Passion clouds the mind. Disrupts the peace." He poked her again. "Breaks the concentration."
She fought to control her anger, "So we should never have loved? That fall was my fault because I dared to cherish Qui-Gon? Will loving lead to the dark side, Yoda?"
He sat down. His expression softened. "No. Your bond was good. Strengthened you it did. Full of light it was."
Alee slowly smiled. "Yes. It was."
The silence was tinged by the Force. Alee felt it glimmering.
"I'd like to stay with you, Master," she said, "while I rediscover my abilities."
"Stay you cannot."
Alee was startled. She studied his face intently.
"Why? I don't understand. You could help."
"One comes. Trained he must be."
"Another Jedi?" hope sounded in Alee's voice. "We could train together."
"No." Yoda raised his hand before Alee could speak. "The past you are. The future he is. Meet you cannot."
"My future is dead. I only have this moment - and you would deny me that by sending me away?"
"Deny not. Release you I do, your future to find."
"Alone?" Fear clung to her shadow.
Yoda nodded. "For a time."
"Forever?"
"I know not."
Alee sat for a long time. She rose soundlessly and headed to the door. Yoda's voice followed. "Mind what you have learned."
Alee smiled sadly. She replied in a whisper, "Save me it can."
It would be easy to shake off the sand of two years in this arid place. Except for the hut. She'd discovered it in the Jundland Wastes and was slowly reclaiming it from the desert. There was a feel about the place - a shadow of ... a Jedi perhaps. At times, she thought Obi-Wan, but she wasn't sure. She only knew she felt close to Qui-Gon while she was there. After a hard day training in the canyons she would sit in the shade by the door, and could almost feel him wipe her brow.
Alee wiped the sweat away and pulled the hood of her cloak low over her eyes. The twin suns of Tatooine beat down on Mos Eisley as she moved through the streets, lost in thought.
Four years since Dagobah. She'd followed the career of Luke Skywalker with interest, but never approached him. Avoided him, in fact. Her powers were back and he'd sense them across a crowded room. So much to explain. Someday. When the moment came.
Her own rebel career had been less than stellar. By request. She'd petitioned General Cracken for remote posts, relaying information for his surveillance operations. It gave her the time and the privacy to focus on her training, conquer the fear.
Now she was being called in from the field. Home to Coruscant, the recently established capital of the New Republic. There were a lot of wounds to be healed. The thought excited her. Frightened her. Made the Force sing through her veins.
Only one problem. No transportation. That ship she'd stolen was long abandoned. Every New Republic vehicle was being pressed into service. Her orders: make your own way back. Alee smiled. She already had.
A wave of longing swept over her. Qui-Gon. She'd embraced his focus on the living Force as passionately as she'd loved him. Sorry, Yoda. No. She wasn't the least sorry. When you have no future, the moment is all there is.
"A part of me will always love you, Qui-Gon," Alee whispered. "You were my soul."
Proud of you...
Peace filled Alee as she stepped through the entrance to Docking Bay 83.
"Hah. I don't believe it," exclaimed Alee, as she pushed her hood back. "An old VG-23, looking like it hasn't seen a day's maintenance since it left the Kuat Drive Yards."
A voice came from behind the rear landing gear. "Nice. Real nice. The door is right back the way you came, lady. I'm busy."
"I'm sorry. Really, I am." Alee squatted and began tapping her teeth. She snatched her hand down. "I hear tell you need a first mate who can mechanic. I need a lift - really bad. Maybe we could strike a deal."
He snorted, "My friends always tell me I'm a sucker for hard luck cases."
A tall man slipped out from under the ship and stood with his back to her as he pulled a pilot suit over his work clothes. She stood and stared, fascinated by the tiny ponytail that clasped shoulder length black hair.
He continued, "Maybe you could help pilot this thing. But how could you possibly be any good at fixing a hunk of junk almost as old as me."
Alee laughed.
"You'd be surprised," she said as she ran her hand along the ship and walked toward him. "I used to own one."
He turned around and watched her caress the hull as she moved forward. He stammered, "ah ... no kidding."
"I never lie." She rubbed a spot of rust.
"Well. I always trust my instincts," he paused. "I'm heading for Coruscant. If that's where you're going..."
Alee's eyes traced along a clean shaven jaw. Her fingers followed and tucked a loose strand of hair behind his ear. She looked into bottomless blue eyes.
"It is."
