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Title: "For the Record" by Quiller
Rating: G
Disclaimer: I am only dipping my pen in George's inkwell. No credits, Republic or otherwise, have been exchanged.
Description: Obi-Wan in disgrace. When I first saw that haunting E2 picture of Obi-Wan, head down, cloak pulled close, I wondered what could possibly bring him to ruin, if indeed, that is what the picture suggests. Though Obi-Wan's fate in this story is entirely my own creation, it is set solidly in E2 and hints strongly of E2 story lines. Don't read it if spoilers are an issue for you.
Obi-Wan had a bad feeling about this. After continuing to question him for two more hours before retiring to reach judgment, the Council had only been cloistered for 40 minutes. It should have taken far longer to review the hours of testimony, in conjunction with his written report. Obi-Wan tried to meet his Padawan's gaze before they re-entered the Council chambers, but Anakin was strangely withdrawn, almost as if the boy was upset with him.
Master and Padawan moved to the center of the room, where they'd spent most of the day, and again faced Mace. Through the day, the sun had migrated around the tower, and now the dark Jedi master was the one silhouetted. The light glared into Obi-Wan's eyes, making him squint.
"We have one issue needing clarification before we pass judgment," Mace said. Obi-Wan tilted his head slightly to the side and blinked repeatedly. Mace continued, "Is it true that Fleet Commander Bail Organa has approached you with an offer to serve under his command?"
Shock blanked Obi-Wan's mind. How could they know that? Bail would never reveal such a thing. Were they monitoring his every conversation? As the shock receded, irritation filled the void. Obi-Wan rasped, "I don't see that as being pertinent to this tribunal."
"Just answer the question, please," Mace said.
"Yes."
"Thank you. And how did you respond?"
Obi-Wan hesitated. "I ... haven't."
"You are a Knight of the Republic. As such you couldn't possibly accept such an offer. Why didn't you say 'no' immediately?"
"I can't answer that, because I have no idea what made me reluctant to reject the offer."
"Perhaps you enjoyed your little taste of power," Rancisis said, his voice awash in cunning.
Obi-Wan closed his eyes and didn't respond. Silence cloaked the chamber. Finally, Mace said, "Obi-Wan Kenobi, you have met all the requirements of this tribunal. You willingly lowered your shields and answered all questions put forward. You may raise your shields." A relieved sigh hissed past Obi-Wan's lips as his mind was once again hidden from prying eyes. Mace continued, "It is now my duty to ask you to present any further defense against the charges you face."
Obi-Wan opened his eyes to slits and strained to see Mace's features through the glare. "I have no further defense." Anakin's silent cry of denial slammed through his mind. He cringed inwardly.
"I am forced to remind you of the seriousness of these charges, Obi-Wan. At this time you may question your Padawan as a witness, if you so desire."
"I decline."
"Character witnesses?"
"My character stands on its own merits."
"Other material witnesses?"
"No."
With each word he spoke, Obi-Wan could sense the tension rising, from Anakin most of all. The boy was fairly quivering, yet he felt nothing at all at that moment, as if the Force were shielding him from the reality of what was happening.
"Am I to understand that you decline to mount any defense?"
Obi-Wan could barely discern the concern deeply etched into Mace's features. "That is correct."
Mace's voice dropped to a whisper. "Do you think that is wise, Obi-Wan?"
"I am following the Force's leading in this, Mace."
"I fear you have misread the Force's intent this time, my friend." Formality returned to Mace's voice. "Obi-Wan Kenobi, are you prepared to receive and abide by the judgment of this tribunal?"
"I am."
"Very well." Mace paused to clear his throat. "Before I proceed, I should explain that the civilian charges have been dropped. The military is seeking no redress, and Chancellor Palpatine himself talked the Senate into reimbursing Trans-Galactic Enterprises for their loses, providing the Jedi Council takes full responsibility for your punishment in this matter."
A cold hand gripped Obi-Wan's heart. The outcome had been predetermined. Force help me to stand up under this.
Mace expelled a short breath. "Obi-Wan Kenobi, by judgment of this tribunal, you ... are to be stripped of the title of Jedi Knight and excommunicated from the Jedi Order." Obi-Wan staggered forward. He brushed away Anakin's hand and forced himself to stand on trembling legs. Mace's relentless voice droned on. "The training of your Padawan will be assumed by another master. It is required that you vacate the Temple before midnight this very day."
Blood pounded through Obi-Wan's ears as the sun drilled into his unblinking gaze. How could this be happening? He was a Jedi. He was a ...
"Obi-Wan!"
Squeezing his eyes shut, then re-opening them, Obi-Wan struggled to focus on Mace.
"I said, for the record, do you understand the judgment?"
With great effort, Obi-Wan straightened and stared at Mace's silhouette. He pressed his lips together for a second, then replied in a clear voice, "For the record, I understand perfectly."
Without waiting to be dismissed, Obi-Wan spun and headed for the exit. A brusque, "Obi-Wan!", stopped him a meter from the doors. He didn't turn around. Mace's voice was almost inaudible. "The Force be with you."
Obi-Wan strode from the Council chamber with Anakin close behind.
The door whooshed closed behind him. Obi-Wan stood, limbs frozen from shock. What was wrong with him? In the far recesses of his mind, he'd known this was a possibility. Disbelief slammed into him and his stomach began to roil. He needed fresh air. Now.
Lurching from carbon freeze, Obi-Wan took the stairs down two at a time, and reeled onto the balcony skirting the floor below the Council chambers. He clutched the railing and stiffened his arms, extending his left leg behind him as if stretching in preparation for a sparring match.
And then Obi-Wan tried to breathe. Slowly. Calmly. His stomach continued to churn. Instead of slowing down, his breathing sped up. In seconds, Obi-Wan was sucking air in short, ragged gasps. A tiny voice inside told him he was hyperventilating. I must regain control. Inhaling a large gulp of air, Obi-Wan held his breath until his brain was screaming for oxygen, which, in his shaken state, wasn't long. Little spots danced on the edges of his vision. Finally, he expelled his breath in a restrained hiss. Only then did he allow his lungs to refill. Slowly. Completely.
A measure of calm returned.
Obi-Wan forced his vise-like grip on the balustrade to loosen. He raised a trembling hand and wiped his clammy forehead with the cuff of his tunic. Awareness returned, and Obi-Wan sensed the aura of shimmering anger just behind him. His head drooped. Force help him, he hadn't wanted Anakin to see him like this. He shouldn't have been made to witness any of that. Couldn't the Council see how they were alienating the boy? A boy no longer. A young man.
Straightening, Obi-Wan stared, unseeing, at the spokes of traffic radiating out from the Temple. His voice sounded strangely detached to his own ears. "Calm yourself, Anakin."
"Why should I?" The Padawan's voice seethed.
From deep inside, Obi-Wan found the strength to pivot slowly, cross his arms and lean against the railing. Measuring each word, he repeated, "Calm yourself. You are still a Jedi, Anakin Skywalker. Behave like one."
Anakin's arm flung out. "They betrayed you!"
Pain stabbed into Obi-Wan's thoughts. You think I don't know that? Obi-Wan closed his eyes for a second, then met his Padawan's fiery gaze. "They did what they had to do."
Clenching his fists, nostrils flaring, Anakin stared at the Jedi. Ex-Jedi, Obi-Wan thought with an inner sigh. Ex-master, for that matter. Anakin narrowed his gaze; his voice quavered. "The Senate demands a blood sacrifice and the Council serves you up on a platter, and you defend them?"
"I'm guilty of the charges, Anakin."
"You did what you had to do. You did what was right! And now they aren't even going to search for the second facility. They've guaranteed that the thing you tried to stop will happen. Your sacrifice was for nothing. You crashed and burned for nothing, Obi-Wan! Don't you feel anything?"
Obi-Wan's patience fell away. Ire laced his low, soft reply. "You saw how I reacted a moment ago. What do you want me to say? Yes, it's tearing me apart. I have been stripped of my identity and it's killing me. Does it make you any happier to hear it?" He unclipped his lightsaber and stared at it, refusing to let it quiver under his shaky touch. Almost to himself, he said, "In the end, nothing has changed. I am a Jedi, whether part of the Order or not. It's all I've ever been, and all I ever will be, no matter what the Council says. But I will abide by the Council's ruling because to do anything else is ... impossible."
"All these years I thought it was just me you wouldn't defend. Blast it, Obi-Wan, you should have defied them. You should have at least spoken up in your own defense. And you should defy them now. Tell them to fly into a black hole. You know you want to."
Obi-Wan turned away. He stared at the crystalline sky. How could it still be so bright when the shadows surrounding him were so deep and cold? Do not defy the Council, Master. Not again. 'I will do as I must, Obi-Wan.' Those words had been spoken on this very spot, he suddenly realized. A sigh slipped past his lips. Obi-Wan silently replied to his master, And I will do as I must, Qui-Gon. Anakin's anger frosted the edges of his mind. How could he turn it? How could he make him understand?
"What would it have accomplished if I had spoken out in there?" Obi-Wan asked. "Each Council member held my report. Each one knew why I did what I did. To argue against my fate any more than I did would only entrench the rightness of their decision."
An eerie stillness cloaked the younger man. Anakin stepped up to the rail and rested his forearms on it. "So, in true Jedi fashion you're simply going to accept. Accept the ruling. Accept the pain."
Turning and copying Anakin's pose, Obi-Wan continued to stare at his weapon. The weapon of a Jedi Knight. Why hadn't they demanded he hand it over to them? He whispered, "To do less is to dishonor all that I have believed in."
Anakin nodded his head. A hard edge returned to his words. "Then accept this, Obi-Wan. I'm glad you are no longer my master, because I don't think I'll ever be able to look into your eyes again without seeing your cowardice. Even if you do join Bail Organa's command, you will only be hiding from the real battle. It's right here, and you're running from it. You. Are. A. Coward."
Anguish lanced through Obi-Wan's soul as Anakin's anger pummeled him. He knew that nothing he said or did at that moment would turn that mounting fury; he'd never felt so helpless. His reply was barely audible. "I'm sorry I failed you."
With a snort of disgust, Anakin pushed away from the balustrade. Panicked, Obi-Wan spun and grabbed his sleeve. "Where are you going?"
Anakin knocked the hand away. "What do you care? You're not my master." He hesitated under Obi-Wan's intense gaze, then said, "Padme's."
"Don't leave the Temple like this. You need to talk to someone. Let go your anger."
"Maybe I don't want to let go of anything just yet. Maybe my anger is better company than you are." Anakin brushed past Obi-Wan and strode away.
Obi-Wan slid to the floor of the balcony and rested his head against the ferrocrete balustrade. Which betrayal cut deeper? Anakin's? Or the Council's? Obi-Wan already knew the answer. He whispered, "I failed you, Master." His head fell forward. "I failed you both."
